i think i can

To be honest it was confusing at first, but after the second read I found I could identify with it! The way you personified a match in lines like: "O, ...

:lol: Tee-Hee, i cant stop laughing... HEheHe.... :lol: so I go to the place where we refrigerate.

Wow.. today was a good day. Now ill have to go back to bed and cover my head with a sheet and rock slowly. That was depressing... but that was ...

July awakens,< - nice beginning, sets the tone. born from the middle month in the balmy peace of a summer midnight.

Very evocative metaphors and great use of imagery: roadkill of my virginity

I'm sorry I don't have time for a long review, seeing as its been done already it'll probably clog up your thread anyways. Ronnie jumped at the bodiless, high-pitched voice. ...

I was about to read this... but I gave up halfway. For some reason you posted this as if it reads all on one line, and I'm not a fan ...

holy crap... *quickly looks behind himself* no jeezaloo that was creepy, I just hope your not as sinister as your work or else the worlds in for a shock. Nothing ...

You do realize that every piece you right is fantastic? So you can stop with the disclaimers at the top, because even if it was not your best piece, we ...

I am a bit disappointed to be perfectly honest. Not at your poetry or your ability, more so at your attitude. It is fine to doubt yourself sometimes but life ...

Hey there, before I get into praising your poem I will first highlight a few things that snagged me: 1.)under you my heart's a swarm -> apostrophes help us to ...

:shock: I did not have a problem with length, I thought it was perfectly proportioned :D . But i do have to agree that some words you use stick out: ...

Slammoth, your using a lot of purple prose. purple prose- very long-winded words that make the reader stop to think about what you are actually saying. This sort of writing ...

Ok ill just post a full critique: It is hot; he feels it through his hardened skin- Hardened refers to? Because the only way your skin can be hard is ...

First off it was excellent. But you didnt travell all the way to YWS for praise, you came for a critique.Since previous posts have already covered all the bases i ...